Wyld Creativity

Dreaming of the Day..

2012-01-19T19:30:00.002-05:00

I realize that I am writing less and less lately and when I look in my edit folder I have some unwritten posts that I have not shared. There is a fine line between sharing thoughts and being all to real and saying too much. I love to write and in the past have been inspired to write about crazy quirky things that are on my mind. It was easy...The truth is things have changed in the past year and now I find it painfully hard to write because life for me these days is less than pretty.

I try to change my outlook on life and the future by looking at pictures like this one. I know that God is bigger than every single problem I am facing and he is here to help me through every single painful thing that I am going through. I know that he knows my heart. It is still so hard
to picture a place as beautiful and free..a place so full of joy and life as this picture portrays.

I want to wake up in a place just like this..Its a world that is full of hope, joy, peace and love. It is bright and beautiful and feels like a gazillion miles away from my existence. Sometimes I wonder how things could get so bleak..how and what did I do to end up feeling this way?
I have always been able to think my way through what steps to take next...a way to make things better..a way out. For the first time in my life I have no idea what to do to get through this. I have to say that I am so blessed to have incredible family in my life and a God who loves me no matter how confused and messed up I am! That thought alone helps take me away to a place like this picture.

Baby It Aint Over Till It's Over!

2012-01-13T14:24:00.008-05:00

Today has been great. I spent some time watching 'Full House' an oldy but goody show. I decided to watch it after reading part way through Candace Cameron Bure's new book 'Reshaping it All' I was really impressed by her book and found it to have a lot of helpful insight. I really admire the way she has approached life and faced a lot of challenges head on. I am already on season 6 and things are heating up! I am always loving the teenage dating love stories and finally she is 16 and old enough to have a serious boyfriend! ( I know I am so easily amused!)

So I watched some Full House and had my left over spaghetti lunch then jacked up my music super loud and put on Lenny Kravitz's greatest hits album and I have to say he is incredible. I danced around my room listening to the first few tracks including the one shown above using my little red flashlight as my microphone and continued the fun during and after my shower..I have moved on to listening to Rihanna's new album...loving the song 'We found love'.

The snow was falling earlier and its a winter wonderland outside, finally...I think this means winter is finally here! It's about time. I am glad and I hope it stays long enough for my little niece and nephew to enjoy as they are flying in from B.C today and I am sure would love to play outside in the snow. Perfect timing! While my sister and her kids are visiting we are going to have a blast. The Girls are going to meet me early Monday Morning in Toronto to see a live taping of the Marliyn Denis show. I am not sure if they tape the show in advance but according to the website Monday's show should include the following:

Monday, Jan.16

Canada’s Queen of Fashion, Jeanne Beker, teams up with Canada’s Queen of Gossip and ETALK reporter, Lainey, to deliver a full head-to-toe style report on The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. Marilyn’s resident chef Christine Cushing, cooks up a traditional pasta recipe as part of the show’s “Family Dinner Month” series, featuring meal ideas for $15 or less.

Tips and tricks on saving on all kinds of insurance.

I will let you know how my very first Television appearance goes! As for today..it is just beginning! and I love how this winter wonderland day is kicking off!

A New Year 2012

2012-01-07T10:26:00.011-05:00

I have started this year off right. I managed to get to the gym 3 times this week which is a great start to the year. I am sad to see Christmas end but its good to get started in on a new year.

I really want to live each day this year to the fullest.
Normally I take pictures of the gifts I got so I have a recap to look back on but I don't know that I did that this year. (I will take one later and add it)This picture to the left was taken Christmas Eve morning at mom and dads...as you can see it was no a typical snowy Christmas, it was bright sunny and beautiful!
I can say that I got way too much for Christmas, here is a list of some of the amazing gifts I was fortunate enough to receive!

Some of the highlights:
A magazine subscription to Entertainment Weekly
Complete T.V Series box sets of The O.c, 24 and Sex and the City
Harry Potter Set with all the movies
A U2 Record
Comfy sweats and sweatshirt
A Sweater
A diet and fitness journal

I had a great Christmas at my mom and dads and I wish it could last forever, it was so nice to relax and just take things easy. This is the end of our break and I need to start looking for a new career opportunity. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish this year and a lot of dreams and goals for 2012. I am going to take things one day at a time and focus in on each goal one at a time. It sometimes feels like a juggling act trying to balance all of the things in life that I am trying to get to but I know that my strength comes from God and that is enough to see me through.

Its Fri Dec 16

2011-12-16T07:41:00.004-05:00

Its Friday. Christmas is almost here. I am finished my contract at Sheridan. The future ahead looks bright to me..I am full of anticipation and joy again for what is to come next.

What would your Billboard look like?

2011-12-14T01:22:00.003-05:00

I am looking at an empty wall Muriel space outside my window at Starbucks. I am wondering what I would put inside it if I could create a poster with a message I would want the world to see (or just those who walk past the Starbucks on front street) It is actually crazy to see space not being used, this is not normal.

I know that the message I would want to share is one about Freedom. That is what was given to me in the summer of 1999 when God set me free from so much destructiveness that weighed heavily on me.

I know that God Is real because he changed my life. This is the truth and I know without a doubt that God can restore and change lives because he did with me. I remember that time in my life so vividly, I felt like a new person and after that late night prayer session, even though that was over 10 years ago I know that God has never left me and that I am still hidden under the shadow of his wings.

It’s easy to think that I am alone as this year has been filled with much pain and sadness. It is incredible though, because more than ever I understand that there is one unfailing love that never loses hope in me, never keeps score and knows exactly who I am and that is the Lord. I honestly know I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for Him.

I feel like there is so much I don’t do in my relationship with the Lord. I don’t pray nearly enough and I wish I was more in tune with the Holy Spirit but I am wanting to make our relationship better and trying to make efforts to see that happen and I believe that means something. I am almost finished reading the bible for the first time in my life. I actually followed the yearly plan my dad showed me in the back of the bible he gave me. I can’t remember everything I read but I am surprised at home much the pages come to life and relate to my life.

Right now in my life there are a lot of uncertainties, I am spending way too much time and effort trying to fix things that are out of my power. I am so tired of trying and I think I am finally ready to let go and stop trying to fix everything. I am confident in who I am, I know that I am a passionate, caring, driven person who can succeed and triumph.

Back to the message-Freedom. I am reminded of an ad campaign I did for Nike for a pair of their shoes, In a double page ad I show rusty old shackles to the left and on the right page a man jumping high over water , this was to illustrate the new ‘Free’ Shoe that Nike produced. I would like to create something similar to this ..Someone hunched over with their feet in the start blocks of a race at the dusk of dawn, jumping up and breaking free. A headline ‘ BE FREE’ could be used and some type of call to action whether that be to a website or follow up statement. It could all be leading up to a big event in the park where people can come to hear live music, share in activities with kids and reach out to those with less.

I don’t know but when I see an empty billboard I see potential to share something. The freedom that Christ brings needs to be shared and it is literally all I can think about these days. He has done so much for me I want others to experience and know what it’s like to be set free.

Still Waiting for the first Snowfall

2011-12-12T07:12:00.003-05:00

Well there have been some snowfall moments and I saw a lot come down in the Falls this weekend but so far I am still waiting for the first snow fall here in Toronto. I probably will want it to go away as soon as it comes to stay for a week but I would love a white Christmas! It's hard to believe that it is already almost half way through December.This upcomming weekend is the last one before Christmas weekend which is nuts! I am really glad that I have been shopping since September I only have a few more gifts to get and some stocking stuffers of course.

It has been a hectic time in our lives this year, I am really looking forward to the end of this week, My contract with Sheridan will more than likley be up and I will have some time to figure out what my next career move will be. I just really need to take a breath and step back and think about a plan moving forward. I feel the calmest right now in these moments..sitting in Starbucks on Front..an hour before getting on the Go train..sipping my Unsweeted Iced Tazzo Passion Tea and listening to sweet Christmas sounds. (I know this is repetitive- I am always making this same comment!) But I can't help it. It is probably the best part of my day. I get to relax...catch up on my thoughts and take in the city as people stroll by.

I really want to slow down this week, I think that is actually my goal for the rest of the month. Slow Down! Enjoy! and Take it all in. I love this season but it is over before we can blink an eye. I think I can slow down by really appreciating every moment and not getting caught up in husstle of life. I am so ready to relax and enjoy this Christmas Season.

2011 Christmas

2011-12-01T06:45:00.018-05:00

Well we put up our Christmas tree last night and some other decorations..We officially got everything set up and ready by Dec 1! Our tree actually fits really nicely..I was afraid it would be too big but it fits perfectly. Bellow is a picture of our new Flannel sheet set that we purchased at IKEA for only $25! Tonight I will spend some time wrapping presents and make a list of what I still have left to get. I can't believe it is Dec 1 already, the weather is so mild, it's nuts! I am not complaining though. I am just so excited to celebrate Christmas this year in our Downtown Toronto Apartment. It's so special around town..It is just so exciting!

The Eve Of December 1

2011-11-30T07:28:00.004-05:00

It is the eve before December 1st, The streets are slick and wet with rain, it feels a lot like early spring these past few days. The air is brisk and I am sure that snow will soon come. I am in love with the excitement and joy that Christmas brings. I see the Christmas tree lights and hear beautiful Christmas music everywhere I go. It is truly the most beautiful time of the year.

I really need to get my Christmas tree set up, I am hoping to do that before Friday. I would also like to add some strands of white lights over our large patio window if Ikea has anymore of those thin strands. I think I will take some strands of garland and run them on top of my kitchen cabinets as well.

I am so thrilled this time of year, it brings so much hope and anticipation for the next year, excitement and joy with friends and family and I love sharing and giving gifts with people.

It's time to celebrate the Joy of Jesus's Birth. It's time to love, share, give, hug, laugh and have fun!

Tazzo Passion Tea Morning

2011-11-25T07:23:00.004-05:00

So There is a new Starbucks in town in my life on my days when I take the GO to Oakville on Front Street. Lately I have been ordering an Unsweetened Venti Shaken Ice Passion Fruit Tazzo Tea which is 0 calories and really refreshing. I am so happy to say it's Friday! Even though this weekend is going to be over before I know it!

Today is Black Friday and I can't pass up those sweet deals. Kyle is picking me up after work in Oakville and we are going to go to the states to indulge in a little bit of the excitement. All of the big ticket items will be gone but my main interest is box sets so I have a great chance of getting some steal deals on those. I am going to have my eye out for other things too of course.

Sitting here..is absolutely mesmerizing.. this Christmas music is so inspiring it is pretty much impossible to not want to get into the Christmas Spirit when you hear those classic words 'Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas Now'..I love it! I am really excited to decorate and put our Christmas tree this year. Kyle and I picked up this really cozy flannel duvet at Ikea for only $30..it was the first step to getting ready for this Christmas season.

Nothing can take away my excitement about life right now..no matter what happens I have never felt better and I have this feeling that this is only the beginning..I am just getting started!

Can You Feel It? Christmas is in the Air.

2011-11-20T18:21:00.004-05:00

It has been a nice weekend. Yesterday we relaxed and had one of my new favourite dinners, Butter Chicken and Naan Bread and watched the old Total Recall Movie on Netflix which was actually good but completely violent to a degree that we just don’t see anymore. Today is Sunday and we have been out since 9:30 this morning. We spent the morning in church at the Meeting House and from there walked to the Eaton Center and had burgers in the new food court at what used to be Kraft Burger but is now called Big Smoke Burger which was yummy!

After lunch I picked up a pair of Sketcher boots which totally are MIRACLE BOOTS! Only because I have been searching high and low for this kind of comfortable style of boot for months and of course the Sketcher store came through( I always seem to find my best shoes there) They last and they don’t kill my feet ! I picked up a few Christmas gifts for my parents and we saw the movie ‘Margin Call’ at the AMC which was also surprisingly good. All that and a blog post in before 7P.M. I also spent some time tonight looking at previous Christmas’s and remembering so many incredible memories over the years. I am hopeful that this year will be no exception.

For the next couple of weeks I am going to be pretty busy, I am going in to Oakville, Sheridan location everyday which I am looking forward to in one sense because working alone is challenging and can sometimes feel un motivational but at the same time getting into the office for 9am means leaving the house at 7am in order to catch my train and arrive on time. I am adding 4 hours essentially to every day so that I will not miss when this contract is over. I am ready to move on to more permanent things.

I once again am super stoked for Christmas 2011. I love the anticipation, hearing the music and decoration change downtown, even the street performers have switched to playing Christmas tunes which is just another sweet indication that Christmas is coming. I am ready to start watching Christmas movies ..I am ready again to dream of a better new year.

Highlights of this week:

New Twilight Opening Screener

Butter Chicken and Naan Bread

Giant Christmas tree at Rogers Center lit up

New Shoes

Passion Tea Day

2011-11-15T16:39:00.004-05:00

It’s already the middle of November and I can hardly believe Christmas is almost on its way. I am back at it sitting in Chapters (Where else?)I am Sipping on a new Starbucks drink choice, Shaken Tazo Passion Tea which to my delight is 0 calories. I have spent the day looking through different web design idea books and layout books to help me come up with some innovative new layouts for the project I am working on. I am developing an App that can be used on the iPad for the client and have some ideas and am trying to create something simple yet something with impact.
I am so glad I decided to spend the day at Starbucks, it’s so nice to be around friends. I am thinking of applying for a part time job here. Not sure if I have the time but would really like to do something different a couple days a week.
I have a lot going on in life these days and find it absolutely refreshing to be sitting here hanging out…doing work and not thinking about all of life’s uncertainties. I am excited about the future whatever that may be.

Paradise

2011-11-03T00:08:00.005-04:00

So I am sitting in my office, in the dark and it is after midnight.. I am blasting some sweet sounds through my speakers. I love music. I honestly have no idea how I could ever live without it.

I am in love with the new ColdPlay album..Mylo Xyloto especially the song 'Paradise'. I find myself singing Par Par Paradise all day long and i love it. I am so inspired by music, it is crazy how much it moves me and changes my mood.

I am dreaming right now of my paradise and it looks a lot like the picture to the left. I would so love to live for a month in a little hut with everything I needed ..my iPod, bible..food and Kyle's company oh and an awesome camera. I could only imagine the beautiful pictures we would take. It is such a dream and I wish I could stop myself from getting lost in it but could you imagine having enough cash to jet set across the world and spend a week on an island like this one...? I don't know how many people ever get to that incredible position in their life but it does make for a very sweet dream.

Tonight I am Dreaming of my Paradise.

Back In My Hood

2011-11-02T15:40:00.004-04:00

Well it took me until Wednesday to make it back to my hood (AKA Chapters on John St. ) Let's just say I am already completely loving it. There are Christmas Trees on display and the Starbucks colours have switched to Red..I am loving it! I also love that my favorite magazine 'Entertainment Weekly' was right where it always was. While I was away I had the hardest time trying to find it. Wow, I am in the Christmas Spirit! I did some gift inventory this morning and I need to spend some serious time shopping! I have a good start but ooooohh There is just SO much More I need to get! So ya I am super pumped. It is a beautiful day out and I am loving life! So back to the best magazine out there, the Must List for November is So right on track! It features U2's Achtung Baby Deluxe edition box set. I 100% AGREE that this is A TOTAL MUST HAVE!!! I can't believe it has the new doc 'From the Sky Down' included as well as three other DVD'S and 6 Cd's of music. I am in love with this box set and sooooo need it in my collection! So happy that my Entertainment Magazine is always so in sync with THE BEST recommendations!! Seriously, if you want to know what to watch, listen to and what to read..pick up this magazine.

Run In The Night

2011-11-01T13:43:00.007-04:00

Had to share this song with everyone. Kyle and I were up late Saturday night putting together a little slide show for Andrew and used this song as the back ground track. It is off of the Jars of Clay album 'The Shelter' I really love the lyrics. It was incredible how it fits with my Brother Andrew..I picture him running in the night with his big ideas and God being by his side in every direction..protecting him and allowing him to have momentum and feel peace. It is just an awesome song.

I know who I am
Once I was nameless, alone and You found me
You formed my knees to bend
You called me beloved
I am perfection

All my failures won't condemn me
Or leave me paralyzed and bound
And when I'm at my worst
Your love, it finds me first
By You I can run in the night
For by You I can run in the night

For I am such a man
Seized by the power of a great perfection
No matter where I am
Peace spreads below me in every direction

When evil sets the war upon me
I won't stumble, I won't fall
And though they do their worst
Your love has found me first
For by You I can run in the night
For by You I can run in the night
For by You I can run in the night

Hide me in the shelter of...
Keep me in the cover of...
Lead me in the light of Your love
Hide me in the light of Your love

For by You I can run in the night
For by You I can run in the night
For by You I can run in the night
For by You I can run in the night

Back Home

2011-11-01T12:34:00.011-04:00

Well, I am back home. I was out in B.C visiting my sister and family for 10 days and got back on Saturday. It has felt so great slipping back into life here in downtown Toronto. I have to admit, the transition was not smooth, the reality of my relationship and life hit me as soon as I got off the plane, I thought that time away might make things better but everything was the same which hit me like a splash of cold water in the face.

It was good though, I am more awake than ever and It's a good place to be. I am grooving today to the sounds of Heather Headley, This is 'Just Right' for my mood today.

Easy, Groovy...head bob worthy..I am SOO feeling it!

I had such an incredible time in B.C, I loved playing games and hanging out with Ana and Zack, the two sweetest, coolest kids ever! I also had a great time with my sister, she is amazing..inspiring and has been teaching me so much about juicing and other healthy habits to adopt. I actually enjoyed drinking cucumber, celery, spinach and beets..crazy I know!I also got to hang out with my friends from out West, Brian and Jessica and there little guy which was so great and I spent time with another friend ..pulled an all nighter and continued the party on to the next day. It was really awesome. I so

miss having amazing friends who have been around for years and know your history. It is SO Refreshing!

So since I have been back home I have been busy, we had Andrews farewell service on Sunday, which we had to show up for a few hours early to finalize the slide show..after was lunch with some extended family and Target in the evening. We had intended to spend the night but something for Kyle's work came up so we headed back to Toronto and I spent all of

Monday settling back into life. Paid some bills, wrote some emails and cooked an awesome yummy meal curtsy of Rachel Ray.

Today I caught up on a few shows like Parent

Hood and Top Model and am planning a little movie night for Kyle and I. The new Justin Timberlake movie 'In Time' is out. I am a huge fan so I need to see that. Oh Ya

And I watched last night's Jay Leno with my man Justin Bieber...It was a great interview. That guy is so sweet! He actually rented out the Staples Centre (the 20,000-seat home of the Los Angeles Lakers) for his girlfriend Selena Gomez and had a table for two set up on the floor with a steak and pasta dinner from the venue's fancy restaurant, the Lexus club. To top it all off when they had finished eating the movie Titanic started playing on the jumbo tron ..He later had this to say: "Romance isn't dead," he tweeted after his date. "Treat your lady right fellas."Love it!.

...That just made my day. I know I am easily amused but I really like JB.

Beautiful B.C

2011-10-20T08:59:00.009-04:00

Well I am on my way to Abbotsford B.C to see my sister and the fam. I am riding through clear white clouds on West Jet. I came somewhat prepared, I have plenty of snacks but did not bring any magazines. The Hamilton airport had absolutely no magazine selection and I attempted to pick some up at Chapters in Toronto but had already read most as I am there daily catching up on Magazines and books. So its me and my mom travelling together alone for the first time, usually our men are with us but its nice to fly solo. I have my iPod turned on and it’s funny, usually I am walking in downtown Toronto with my tunes setting me in motion andhere on the plane looking out into the beautiful world bellow my music is taking me away into new heights..I think I am going to miss my life in Toronto while I am away. I have really grown to love everything about the downtown life. I love being able to walk everywhere and spending hours at coffee shops, seeing matinee movies and walking through very cool antique and speciality shops. I am so happy, sometimes I have to pinch myself to know if this is all real. I am living a dream life right now and it is out of this world. Everything is like a dream and I know that this is just the beginning which is also another reason why this is hard to imagine, could things actually get better than this? I would like to think I can/could handle that but I think I would feel like I didn’t deserve it.

---------------------------

Update: I am winding down my first night in Abbotsford. We had a really easy flight here minus a man sitting next to us on part of our journey. As you can see from the picture off to the side of the little naked boy, the flight was never a dull moment!

All in all everything couldn’t have gone smoother. So far we have spent a ton of time talking about different things and catching up on a lot of things. We went to Red Robin which is very common on this side of the world, for the first time I got my burger wrapped in lettuce which was actually not too bad.

My sister is trying a new food approach and is mainly going Vegan so while I am here I am going to learn all about it and probably get a good taste for it. I spent the night playing Monopoly with Ana and Zack and went to bed really early here..9 P.M (12 AM) my time and got up around 5:30 AM (8:30 AM) Ontario time. I got so many hours of sleep it is crazy! 8 hours for sure, I have a feeling I will be catching up on a lot of sleep while I am here.It feels really nice to be away from home for a bit.

I am glad I can be here with my sister and Sam, Ana and Zack. I wish so much we all lived close together because I miss them all so much! Tomorrow the kids are off from school so I am sure we are going to have tons of fun! Hopefully I will remember to take some pictures!

Friday Night Ooo LaaLa.

2011-10-14T22:33:00.004-04:00

Well I started this night with a lot of time ended up chatting for most of it with Starbucks friends and spent the rest of my free time dealing with an uncooperative laptop so now I have only a short amount of time before Chapters closes to push out some thoughts.

So what I love about Toronto is that even if Kyle is doing his thing,I can do mine and have fun. When we lived other places I would be at home being bored but now that we live in beautiful downtown Toronto I can go out and chill until my heart is content or at least until everything closes.
Today was good, I made some serious progress on the career front and feel in control of my destiny.

I have also had a lot of fun working on the Hannah House Newsletter over the past couple of days. I am SOOOO Happy it is Friday!! I love the weekends, I have a feeling I will be up very late tonight and sleeping in very late tomorrow! I do like it this way, always living it up..always enjoying every second of the day.

Crazy thing, So I started wearing my little calorie counter thing and it is amazing to see how many steps and miles I walk in a day. I only checked it ours ago after walking to the Go Station ect and I had burned 490 active calories. I know I do a lot of waking but had no idea how much. I will have to check it now to see what I am at before midnight. (Just plugged in my tracker) wow 670 calories, 6.7 miles, 12,468 steps. Insane! I didn't even walk as much as I sometimes do so this is good..I am glad that I am getting a workout in even if I am not going to the gym

Random drop...Christmas is coming and I want collector box sets. Friday Night Lights has a set with all the Seasons, 24, Alias, Sex and the City, The O.C. I also want a record player and records, a subscription to THE best magazine, Entertainment Weekly and these very cool plaques mom and I saw at the Pen Center..they are black and having sayings like 'Think outside the Box'

Anyway, Starbucks is closing! Got To Go!!!

Best New Fall Shows

2011-10-12T02:06:00.012-04:00

I always love fall for a lot of reasons, the change in the air and the anticipation of new beginnings. I love all of the family gatherings that follow like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Another great thing about fall are the new shows that emerge. I love to catch a glimpse and see which ones are standouts. This fall has added a few really great plots. I have chosen my top 3 can't miss shows which I make a point to watch every week.
I have to say if you have not seen Homeland on Showtime, Sundays at 10:00 Tune in this week, it's got that '24' feel, and waiting until next week to see what happens is painful!

Hart Of Dixie

Fast-talking New Yorker and brand new doctor Zoe Hart has it all figured out - after graduating top of her class from medical school, she'll follow in her father's footsteps and become a cardio-thoracic surgeon. But when her dreams fall apart, Zoe decides to accept an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama. Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town only to find that Harley has passed away and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will.

Executive producer Josh Schwartz ("Gossip Girl," "Chuck," "The O.C.")

Homeland

Who's the hero – who's the threat? When MIA Marine Sgt. Nicholas Brody returns home to a hero's welcome after eight years in enemy confinement, brilliant but volatile CIA agent Carrie Mathison isn't buying his story. She believes that Brody has been turned and is now working for Al Qaeda. What follows is a dangerous game of cat and mouse with nothing short of American national security at stake. Claire Danes, Damian Lewis and Mandy Patankin star in the provocative, suspenseful new Showtime Original Series HOMELAND, from Executive Producers of 24.

Up All Night

"Up All Night," created by Emily Spivey (NBC's "Parks and Recreation" and "Saturday Night Live") and executive produced by Lorne Michaels (NBC's "Saturday Night Live" and "30 Rock"), is an irreverent look at modern parenthood. Christina Applegate ("Samantha Who?") stars as Reagan Brinkley: loving wife, successful career woman, life of the party and, most recently, mom. Determined not to compromise her career or cool reputation to the cliches of motherhood, Reagan adjusts to life with a baby and returns to work with the support of her stay-at-home husband, Chris (Will Arnett, "Arrested Development"). As Reagan and Chris figure out their new life, self-doubt, sleep deprivation and the pressure of today's parenting protocols rattle their confidence. What's more, the endless needs of Reagan's boss, ambitious but vulnerable talk-show host Ava (Maya Rudolph, "Saturday Night Live," "Bridesmaids"), threaten to throw Reagan off balance.

This is the Time

2011-10-05T08:01:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I met with a very cool guy Wayne, AkA: Personal Trainer who is going to kick my butt if I slack off. I met him yesterday and he filled me in on his process and I didn't have to think twice, I am completely on board. He recommended using this system called My Tracker, it is similar to what you see the contestants wearing on their arms on the weight loss show, 'The Biggest Loser' Only I will be wearing it on my belt and when doing strength training around my chest. So I purchased all of the equipment including a 1 year online community subscription which allows my activity to be tracked and followed by my personal trainer. It cost in total $240 for all the components and immediately after signing up my details were calculated and estimates calorie intake per day was suggested along with how much caloric activity needs to be done everyday to achieve my goal weight.

My trainer has advised me to slightly change my routine by adding an extra 10 min of walking to see how many calories I burn on a daily basis without pushing things and once I know this I can get into a routine which should include waking up and getting on the treadmill walking for 25 minutes everyday and Keeping my calories around 1400 a day. So I am going to initially take on the personal trainer for 4 sessions, one a week and that costs around $280 and other then that will have their accountability with this my tracker function so I really think this could work.

I would like to lose at least 50lbs by my 31st Birthday and in time for my friends destination wedding which is around the same time and overall I would like to lose a total of 80lbs by this time next year. Those are my long term goals. Short term are to get out and try my best to get into a weight loss routine, eating much healthier and adding 40 min of walking to each day.

I know that I have tried to achieve this goal before and there is no denying how hard it is. I started this journey 6 years ago and lost a total of 74lbs and have since Gained 27 back keeping off 46lbs. It is a constant struggle and a process that is not easy but if anything is true it is that my determination and persistence to achieve this goal has never been lost. I know that this time around it is going to take an extra amount of persistence to break through those plateaus but I also feel like there is no time left to lose. I am living in the perfect environment to finally do this, I walk everywhere each day which is the reason why I have been able to maintain my weight since moving here, I have full access to a gym and the flexibility of time right now. I have the goal and destination in my mind and am focusing on achieving it one day at a time. I have been waiting to feel care-free, confident and unrestricted since I was a teenager, way too much time has passed living without complete freedom. I think this is the time for that to change. I am the queen of wishful thinking but I believe it is important to never give up on the dream and to keep striving for it no matter how illusive the outcome feels, so this is what I am doing.

Heathers Soundtrack.

2011-10-01T02:29:00.007-04:00

My Soundtrack- A list you can hold on to if you ever need a playlist to honor/represent my life.

Okay so music is such an important part of my life. I don’t know what I would do without it. You all know I LOVE U2, their music makes you want to get up and do something. It breaks all the rules. They are my favourite band. Then there is Third Eye Blind, which makes me want to drive with the top down for hours, wind blowing through my hair, They have an alive and freeing sound. Chantal Kreviatzuk is one of the most talents singers, songwriters, and performers on the planet. Every one of her songs is like poetry and I was hooked the first time I heard her second album, then fell in love with the rest.

I saw Chantal Kreviatzuk in concert again tonight, this would be #4, and again her talent blew me away. Each of her songs mean something different to me, Surrounded, the song she wrote after her boyfriend commited suicide launched her career and shows honesty in her song writing.

Feels Like Home is one of my most treasured tracks, I know all the lyrics and often sing it to myself when I need to feel comfort. What If It All Means Something, is one of those tracks that resonates with me, I often wonder about things that happen in life and how the choices we make impact the lives of others. All of Chantal’s songs take the listener away, into a new world where they can fly.

Third Eye Blind, whoa…where do I start with these guys. Honestly I don’t know how I got through my teenage years without this music. I heard some of their singles on the radio but had no idea how impactful the music was until I met Kyle and he introduced me to the tracks that were not on the radio. Wounded, when I hear the drive behind the powerful lyrics in this song I want to get up and do something. Deep Inside of you tells one of the most honest love stories; the lyrics ‘We were broke and didn’t know’ are my favorite in this song. I think it speaks perfectly true to real love. It is one romantic song, very hot and tension filled. Graduate, Losing A Whole Year, Bon Fire & Sharp Knife all get me really excited.

U2, Where to begin, Their music has changed my life..Walk On Is the song that has impacted me the most; It is the sound track to the persistence in my life. I walked down the isle to All I Want is You, which is something I will always remember; the violin section is one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard. Beautiful Day makes my day and Streets With No Name is beyond anything I can verbalize. Seeing this front rail, inner circle at a U2 show is something I can’t even talk about but the experience is life changing. City of Blinding Lights is monumental and 40 is life changing, it has so much history and love behind it. Magnificent is off the charts crazy incredible and ground breaking. I know that there are so many out of this world tracks but these are just a few that stand out to me.

Worship songs that have left an imprint on my life:

All of these tracks mean something really special to me as they are all a huge part of my spiritual journey.

Did You Hear the Mountains Tremble, Deleriou5?,

Freedom Reigns, Jason Upton

Psalm 91, Lincoln Brewster

Then there are songs from The O.C sound track that resonate and require response. Songs I listen on repeat from The O.C Soundtracks: Honey And The Moon, Joseph Arthur, Into Dust, Mazzy Star, Caught By The River, The Doves, Billoddity, Mojave 3, If You Leave, Nada Surf, Dice, Finley Quaye, Orange Sky, Alexi Muroch, Paint The Silence, South, Maybe I’m Amazed, Jem, Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley, Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap.

Songs from the Felicity series that are always on my play list: Heart and Shoulder, Heather Nova, I’ve Got a Feeling, Ivy, This Woman’s Work, Kate Bush, She Will Have It Her Way, Neil Finn, Here Comes the Flood, Peter Gabriel, Hermes Bird, Remy Zero, Good Enough, Sarah McLachlan, Day Before Yesterday, Scout.

To Be CONTINUED.

Difference of Designers

2011-09-29T17:46:00.003-04:00

So the interview process continued today and we have our top 2 designers awaiting our final decision and will have our final designer chosen by this upcoming Monday.

I have my choice and wish it was up to me. There are people you meet in your life who you just connect with and know will work well together. I don't think this is too absurd as many creatives in the industry find a person who challenges them and they work well with and actually take that professional relationship into their future careers. I am looking at this relationship in the same sense to some extent.

I share a lot of the same passions and beliefs as this potential designer and could see us working on future projects together. I am content and know that whomever we choose we will work well together. It has been amazing talking to other creatives these past couple of days, I get excited seeing other accomplished work and how they are breaking into the industry and leaving their mark. This really inspires me. I am feeling SO pumped and realize again that the sky truly is the limit.

I can launch my own magazine and work on really special projects. I am thrilled to see other designers aka creatives influence the industry and I am so glad to be a part of it. It is going to be one interesting ride over the next 3 + months. I am ready for it.

Give me what I want.

2011-09-29T00:02:00.005-04:00

What I want:

I want to live as alive as I feel. I want my life to look like the joy I have beaming inside of me. I don’t want to be held back. I want to exude who I am to the core- As feisty and crazy as that may look. I just want to be.

More Thoughts.

2011-09-27T17:47:00.006-04:00

Ready to begin my life

I have been standing on the edge

Looking out into a deep endless vision

Swirling dreams fill the sky above me

My spirit is awakened

I never want to lose this feeling.

The breeze is cold and crisp and chills my body

I am thankful to be alive.

I am ready to leap

Free fall into waters of freedom bellow

Swim to my destiny.

I want to play beautiful music.

Capture beautiful things.

Create beautiful words.

Change the world.

There is music inside of me that I need to let out. There are words and a story that I need the world to hear. There are ideas that must be let loose. I have a freedom inside that has never fully been released. There is so much more to my life and I want to soak every last inch of it up.

Something beautiful is happening inside of me and I know this feeling, I have felt it before. It is coming to terms with the passion inside of myself that has driven and fueled me into the woman that I am today. It is a beautiful thing that has been woven through a lifetime of obstacles and feats. I know exactly who I am and I have never doubted her or lost her. I am wild, tenacious and cannot be tamed. The world and people around are my inspiration. I have learned that I can achieve and accomplish anything and that I am strong.

Its time to get up, stand on your feet and raise your hands

Let loose and forgo all those heavy expectations

Be free and run towards your destiny.

You can’t worry about who you leave behind, you just have to be true to you. So go and dream bigger then you ever have before.

Let yourself go. Just go and fly far far away.

Here Comes The Flood

2011-09-27T14:42:00.003-04:00

So...It started with track 13 of the Original TV Soundtrack for Felicity. It is called 'Here Comes The Flood'.... which already got me thinking about different events and ongoing realities that are happening in my life and then track 14 starts playing and Immediately I am in tears. I realize that I am not prepared to deal or cope with some of the devastating losses I have been experiencing and feeling and that I have NO IDEA what is going to happen in my life over the next year. Everything feels completely out of my control and all I can do is embrace these feelings of uncertainty and live like there is no tomorrow... This video is terrible and I wanted to find just an audio track with the original song written by Kate Bush but had no luck, so this does not do justice but I hope you will connect with the lyrics as I have.

Loving the Toronto Life

2011-09-27T14:20:00.006-04:00

So here I am, its Tuesday afternoon and I am listening to an awesome Cd (The Felicity Soundtrack) that I picked up at one of my new favourite Toronto shops located on Bloor ‘Sonic Boom’,http://www.blogto.com/toronto/the_best_used_cd_stores_in_toronto/ they have racks and racks of records, DVD’s, collectibles, posters, box sets and so much more. I recently picked up two U2 records, now all I need is a record player. This leads me into more dreams to add to my wish list.

So not only do I want our future home we buy and fix up to have a pool and home theater but I also want it to have a dark room to develop photographs and a record room to listen to music and showcase collectible records. Our ‘Entertainment’ area in our future house will have some very interesting stuff, I still want to have a pool table, bar and game table ect but that stuff is typical. I already have a lot of the art work, U2 Posters and Movie Posters for example. I always have an eye out for collectibles to enhance my dream entertainment space.

I am in complete love with this city; there are endless unique shops with things you never see anywhere else! It is so refreshing to shop and see things you never see at typical suburban malls. I can’t talk enough about how much I am enjoying life in Toronto.

Every week Kyle and I are up to something new and exciting. Last week was Cold Play for free in the Much Music Parking lot, this week is no exception as we are seeing the advanced screening of the new movie Breakaway this Thursday and are catching a live Chantal Kreviazuk concert with Symphony Orchestra and special guest Raine Maida at Massey Hall.

I have been busy with work as well, spending less time at Starbucks which is sad but keeping busy otherwise with a lot of brainstorming sessions. I have a full day of interviews with potential Graphic Artists for our project tomorrow which is exciting as hopefully I will have someone to collaborate ideas and share frustration with!

All in all life has me excited and I can hardly contain it.

The 5 Year Plan Importance

2011-09-16T02:14:00.009-04:00

Striving for a goal is good, but savoring the process along the way to achieving them is KEY to fulfillment.

So before I actually had a pay cheque in hand I diligently took notes and pictures from all the magazines I could not afford. These are a wonderful resource and usually magazines have only 25% of useful articles and the rest of the magazine is filled with advertisements and other garbage so I think this is a great way to learn new things and not break the bank in the process. I am attempting again to get in shape, trim down and get healthy. I have a new goal to lose the pounds by June 2012 for my girlfriends destination wedding.

I want to be confident and look sexy and feel care-free. I can not feel like that in my current body. I dream of slipping into summer shorts, sleeveless tops and swimsuits with ease and assurance that nothing is sticking out where it shouldn't. I have been talking about this for years and have had celebration points of success but never followed through to make my bikini body dream a reality. So long story short I have been reading some really great articles in magazines like Shape and took away some snippets of valuable information. A lot of it are things I already know and just need to kick my butt into gear and actually do! But, I came across this one particular article about setting goals and how to achieve goals and thought it was worth sharing.
This was in Self Magazines Sept 2011 issue.

The article talks about the importance of having a 5 year plan and breaks the process down to 5 easy steps.

1. Look back and Learn
Get a piece of paper and jot down 5 past accomplishments you love thinking about. Reminding yourself of some of the triumphs will make you feel more competent and confident.

2. Brainstorm like crazy
Set your watch for 10 minutes and list everything you want to do in your life, how ever out-there and ambitious, without holding back.

Ask yourself these questions:
1. Is there anything I have left unfinished that I would like to complete?
2.Is there classes I would love to take or skills I would like to learn?
3. Are there ways I want to give back to others?

3.Reflect on Regret
Get real, which of the goals listed would you most regret no pursuing 5 years from now? Answering this question will help you edit your list to the most meaningful aims, also look for recurring themes to help you determine what goals are top priority.

4.Dissect your Top Goals
Ask yourself if this is something you want for you or for others? What will achieving this goal do for you? how will it make your life more fulfilling? finally ask yourself how it will help create your ideal world/existence. Write your thoughts next to each goal.

5. Now live your plan
You will need to prioritize. ie: You can not save money to buy a new house and go to graduate school. Choose realistic do-able goals. Write down a few things you will need to do in the short term, (Daily, weekly, monthly) to achieve each goal. These need to be measurable and track able so you can see the progress you have made, it is also a good idea to sit down and talk with a friend about your goals so you have help and motivation to achieve them.

TIFF is almost over.

2011-09-16T01:57:00.010-04:00

The Red Carpet Days are almost over. I have not had any luck gathering any more autographs, You have to plant yourself hours ahead to get the best view and position to achieve a great photo and autograph, so far none of the actors have really been ones I wanted to spend hours waiting for. Tuesday’s Red carpet was awesome I got to see Jennifer Garner and get an autograph. She was there for the movie ‘Butter’ premiere along with Olivia Wiled, Alicia Silverstone as they are all in the movie and will be walking the red carpet. I was torn because Adam Brody (Seth from the O.C) and Scott Speedman (Ben from Felicity) were also making red carpet appearances further away at the Elgin Theater at 6:00 and 10:00..But I just couldn’t manage all those red carpets in so I had to choose and Jen was top on my list although Felicity’s Scott Speedman (Ben) is sooooooo a must see!! I will have to try to spot him at the hotel he staying at, apparently he has been out on runs a couple times a day too.

So I saw Bono and the Edge…the cast from the movie 50/50, I saw Brad and Angelina from a distance for their movie premiers and the cast from Butter.

I also got to meet the director of the movie ‘The Lady’ Luc Besson-who is one incredible man, he actually wrote the screen play for the movie ‘Taken’ and so many others and also directed the movie ‘The fifth Element’. I was blown away by the movie ‘The Lady’ I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to see an inspiring true story. It is gut wrenching as the situation is still going on today and freedom is still far from actuality in Bosnia but you will be inspired. I saw this movie as my favourite U2 song ‘Walk On’ was inspired by the story of Aung San Suu Kyi who lived under extreme house arrest away from her family fighting for democracy for her country. ‘From The Sky Down’ the U2 doc about the making of the ‘Achtung Baby’ Album was also out of this world. I was blown away understanding how they actually make music and how they overcame so many obstacles and stuck together and are still as close as family. I am sad that all of the excitement is ending this weekend but I think it will be good because I need to catch up on some rest! I have been going non stop for days now but it was all worth it. I had so much fun!

6 Year Anniversary

2011-09-15T17:49:00.005-04:00

So this was a little delayed. It is so much easier to share photos on face book then here as the upload time takes a lot longer but I nevcr miss the important entree's so I had to post this one! Kyle and I went camping for our 6th year anniversary. Kyle has all the pictures of us pitching up our tent so If I remember I will post those. We had an incredible weekend though.

I ended up showing Kyle Evergreen Heights church in Simcoe that my dad started when I was just little and built. This ended up in a blast from the past reunion with old Simcoe friends of the family. Kyle and I ended up that afternoon on that Breedyk farm which was a total blast. It got me thinking and wondering about what my life would have been like if our family would have stayed in Simcoe our whole lives. It would have been soooo different!

Everything happens for a reason though and I have to think that I got to experience a lot of great things I would never have if we would have never moved as much as we did but its still difficult to look back into such a simple sweet life that could have been mine...long lasting friendships and great relationships that would be almost like family.

Our anniversary was awesome, Kyle and I have never camped before and I had a new confidence going into it from my trip to Moncton NB. I was ready but still shuttered and screamed over the over bearing pressence of creepy crawly insects! Those I could do without!

Big Dreams Realised.

2011-09-09T11:33:00.012-04:00

So I finally got to meet U2..Or at least say Hi and state how much I appreciated their music and how it has inspired me. This is a picture including signatures from The Edge and Bono on one of my Joshua Tree Lithographs.

Last night was the TIFF world premiere of the U2 Doc 'From The Sky Down' a story about creating the 'Achtung Baby' Album. It was a turning point for the group and marked a significant change after the rise from 'The Joshua Tree' album.
I am super excited to see the 9 P.M show tonight. I know already that it is going to exceed my expectations because everything U2 is a part of...always does! Last night was just one example. What awesome guys, they were so cautious taking time and care to meet and greet and say Hi to as many fans as they could.

I have big dreams and they are driven by God Inspired by the Holy Spirit and are often motivated and realized by U2. God gave me a vision during the summers of 1999 & 2000 that I would be the creator/developer of a magazine showcasing stories around the world through art, poetry and testimony proclaiming freedom found in Christ.

Because of my own release from pain and struggle from a wild and cruel virtual world online I was inspired to call the magazine
'Free @ Last'. Since, I have been drawn to another title for the Magazine- a word that has challenged me in my faith and quest to understand what it means to live out my faith today and that title is 'REPRESENT'. U2 has continued to remind me of this vision with songs like 'Walk On' which have fueled my desire to create a medium of communication to reach around the globe inspiring hope and transformation to the nations.

Today I am more inspired then ever after meeting so many people in Toronto who just have NO idea of the Freedom that is awaiting for them if they would only seek and ask Jesus into their life and let him transform it.

I know that God is bigger then anything I can ever predict or imagine. I am riding this wave of inspiration, not really knowing where it will take me but recognizing its authenticity.

I don't want to sound like I have anything figured out because I don't. I am just going through these ideas and emotions in my head and trying to make sense of them all. I am beginning to understand this big complicated world. One thing that has become crystal clear after living a couple of months in downtown Toronto is that People are DESPERATE for the truth! Absolutely desperate and I wish I had more convincing words to share or thought provoking statements to enlighten conversations had but one thing I have come to appreciate is that my story of freedom and the incredible turning point in my life of being released from a treacherous all consuming Online world is always the turning point in the conversation.
A true experience and life changing moment can never be denied and it is the opportunity that breaks down barriers.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that as unprepared and useless not to mention,un qualified I often feel when talking to strangers about Freedom in Christ- There is always our life changing story that fills in all the blanks. It's a true story about freedom and new beginnings. People relate to this and I think it is the most valuable tool we have to share with people.

I think I went off the beaten path a bit but one thing I have noticed is Inspiration is sometimes messy. Its offten like brain storming /'Big Idea' sessions, the page ends up being cluttered with pencile drawings, key words and statments..In the end there is always one key theme and the big idea emerges. I will have to look back at this mini idea/thought session to see what The 'Big Idea' is ... But I think It has something to do with dreams revisted and the inspiration to see change. Not quite sure. I am sure however, this is a revolving and on going conversation and on that note I need to attempt to get some work done today! Happy Friday Everyone.

Gearing Up for A Red Carpet Week

2011-09-07T14:58:00.015-04:00

So This is it, TIFF starts tomorrow and the red carpet is being laid out as I write. I always wondered how they make sure it sticks to the ground rain or shine and it looks like they use this double sided tape, afterall it wouldn't be good for any part to come loose and cause a fall for a Celeb- They ARE known to wear crazy awkward shoes. I have taken some thought to this event and know full well that it is critical to be prepared.
I have no excuse, I live in the city and need to be ready to bump into my fav celeb.

Celeb Red Carpet Ready Check List:

1. Camera>>>
Critical to capture that inspired moment.

2. Sharpie>>>
Black and filled with plenty of ink.

3. U2 paraphernalia>>>
I thought long and hard about this, most convenient to carry in size were some postcard lithographs.You do not want to get stuck with only a napkin to sign as this is not ideal for framing.

4. Conversation starting Reading Material>>>
I have the book 'U2 BY U2' Sitting next to me at my Starbucks/Chapters table.

5. Thought provoking questions>>>
This depends on who you are hoping to meet, for U2 I have a lot of questions such as where
I can start to make a difference in the world, practically speaking...How I can get involved.
I am already part of the ONE campaign but how can I really make a difference and help?

I am sure there are a lot more important Red Carpet Preparation tools but so far this is what I have taken into account. I am really excited to see how the rest of the week pans out. I have my tickets to see 'From The Sky Down' on Friday night and will be attempting to catch some U2 Red Carpet action during TIFF's opening night. Wish me Luck!

From The Sky Down @ TIFF

2011-09-06T15:03:00.004-04:00

So I am attending this U2 Doc screener at the Toronto International Film Festival on Friday Sept 9th @ 9.00 P.M. I am Super Pumped about this and thought I would share the details about it. I was super lucky today as they added one more show for this incredible doc and I managed to get some tickets. Here is the BIO about it..I can't wait to see this world premiere!

Imagine a neighborhood where every home is a broken family: misery, divorce, or worse. Drive down the street and it's every single home. That's the unfortunate terrain of rock bands. Implosion or explosion is inevitable. U2 has defied the gravitational pull towards destruction. Somehow, it has endured and thrived. The movie From the Sky Down asks the question why.

http://tiff.net/filmsandschedules/tiff/2011/fromtheskydown

Programmer's Note

Gaining intimate access to the band as they return to Berlin’s beautiful Hansa Studios to rehearse for their Glastonbury performance of Achtung Baby, Guggenheim finds Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr. in peak form. The band has always been insistent on renovating their back catalogue for live performances. As they set about finding fresh ways to interpret songs like “The Fly,” “One” and “Even Better Than the Real Thing,” they also begin to reminisce about how those songs first came to fruition — and about the stew of personal struggles that informed them.

Bono has always been a witty, self-effacing and articulate raconteur, and his tales of coping with massive success and its inevitable backlash are enormously entertaining.

A handful of the best stories come not from the band, however, but from some of their most esteemed collaborators, such as Brian Eno and Canadian Daniel Lanois. The producers provide fascinating descriptions of the strange, winding and often amusing journeys from inspiration to synthesis.

Drawing from a wealth of archival footage that’s alternately dazzling and revealing, From the Sky Down deserves a place amid the upper echelon of rock documentaries. And just as there’s nothing like seeing U2 onstage to feel the maximum thrill of their pulsating anthems, this film needs to be experienced on the big screen to fully surrender to its rush.

There are precious few acts in the music business that can match the integrity, breadth of appeal, and rugged durability of U2. Yet with the eighties drawing to a close and their epoch-making Joshua Tree album behind them, the Irish quartet had reached such dizzying heights of fame — and, some argued, arrogance — that it seemed the only thing left for them to do was fall apart like so many great rock ’n’ roll bands before them. Instead, they retreated to a German studio, revived their sense of humour, mischief and musical adventure, and ardently went about reinventing themselves. The result was 1991’s Achtung Baby, and the process of creating that astounding album is the subject of Davis Guggenheim’s exhilarating documentary From the Sky Down.

Walk On

2011-09-03T17:08:00.002-04:00

I am inspired, the TIFF is coming to town and after spending 8 hours in line to buy one ticket to see a one small movie with one larger than life story of one incredible triumphant woman who faced tons of adversity to live in freedom and bring freedom to others- real life hero: Aung San Kyi- I AM INSPIRED. I set out this morning to see the U2 Doc..'From the Sky Down' but after that was sold out was very happy there were still a few tickets to see 'The Lady' the incredible Doc getting tons of Oscar Buzz about the lady who also inspired one of my fav U2 songs, 'WALK ON'. She faced a ton of adversity and still pressed forward and brought freedom to Burma.

I am listening to the song right now sitting in Chapters. I am Inspired once again, as I always am with the song. On my iPod or Front rail inner circle live..this song makes me want to jump out of my skin and proclaim Freedom.

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is

and I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme...

All I can think right now is We've got to Walk On..to everyone in my life who is going through some of the toughest times..Be strong..Walk On..What you have...no one can take away or steal....Leave Behind all of the stuff that you don't need and take only the things that truley matter. Stay safe tonight.

What A CRAZY Week.

2011-08-26T17:47:00.006-04:00

What A CRAZY Week.

Well Kyle and I are celebrating our 6^th Year Anniversary today. I am excited about this. Life has certainly not been a walk in the park by any means; marriage is tough and is a constant uphill climb BUT it is the little moments that I like to celebrate and remember. I am truly so blessed to have such an incredible man in my life. Back in my early 20’s I thought my Prince Charming was stuck in one serious Traffic Jam!! I wondered what in the world was holding up his arrival, Lucky for me the roads cleared up and my incredible guy came driving in my direction.

I am so Excited. Excited for the time I get to share with Kyle this weekend and all the days that follow, Excited for everything I am learning at my new position as ‘Creative Lead’ , Excited to be living in this Dreamy City called Toronto, Excited to be feeling well and Excited for all the great things the future has in store for me and Kyle.

I am so ready to celebrate. Kyle and I are going out on the town tonight to have dinner and a movie. Tomorrow we are heading out to Port Dover, Simcoe’s Neighbour (Where I was born) for a couple nights camping, that is if weather is permitting. I booked Monday off work and am ready to have an incredibly relaxing, laid back weekend.

I have spent the entire day at my Chapter/Starbucks office, got a ton of work accomplished and as usual met/observed very interesting new people. I will include a fabulous picture of two men, one who is a total fashion guru sporting pink plaid pants, a purple golf shirt and orange throw over the shoulders, oh and he is completing this killer look with incredible alligator like loafers. They very cute thing about these guys is their reading material, Oprah’s 25 Year Anniversary Magazine! Priceless.

Another interesting family I met just now is from Mexico and are on their way to Saskatoon, where their high school daughters are going to be attending school. The conversation got started as I had brought my IKEA catalogue out with me today and had it sitting on the table beside me and she asked If she could look at it. Her daughters are going to the Christian high school/live in dorms in Outlook, Saskatchewan. The school is 1 hour from Saskatoon and I was helping the parents enter Wal-Mart locations into their GPS so they can shop and get everything they need before embarking on this new adventure. The school is called Lutheran Collegiate Bible Institute. This was one very sweet family and I hope these girls have a great experience on their own away from home all the way in cold Saskatchewan!

I love meeting new people …Harry Connick Jr just came on…Recipe for Making Love…Love this song and it makes me think about my sister Heidi and I remember her loving and playing this song all the time.

I am out of power on my lap top so I will have to cut this conversation short!

Have an awesome weekend everyone!

Back In Action

2011-08-22T18:35:00.004-04:00

Another Start to the week and a productive one at that, I am heading back on the G.O train to Toronto after spending the last couple of hours in meetings with RbD and team in Oakville outlining the next steps in the project ahead. I provided Len with a Creative Brief that I had developed for RbD and the current re branding project and we went over that among other things and will be meeting together again Wednesday and Thursday to finalize some aspects about this.

This project is going to be huge, the more I learn about it and the more meetings we have together I am realizing how incredibly massive this undertaking is. RbD is dealing with billion dollar corporations so the typical advertising that I have experienced such as ‘normal’ social networking concepts can’t really apply because there are so many legalistic hang-ups such as privacy regulations that make typical Facebook communities next to impossible to implement but we are going to work through all these issues and come up with some realistic approaches to social networking that we can make happen.

I am looking forward to the week; I also was able to book off next Monday as this weekend (Fri Aug 26^th) is Kyle and I’s 6^th year anniversary so we will be doing something fun over the weekend, the talk is a camping trip somewhere near Simcoe? I am not sure exactly where we will be going but since I got a nice tent for my Moncton Trip to see U2, we have almost all the essentials to make this a fun weekend. We are probably going to go Saturday afternoon and come back Monday night, I am really looking forward to getting to spend some time alone with Kyle without any distractions. We have been through a lot together and we need to celebrate everything we have overcome and the love that we continue to have for each other so I am very excited for that.

Well I am pretty much at Union Station now so I am going to end this update. I feel like there is so much I want and need to talk about but no time to do it. I want to spend some time talking about the fun simple things in life like movies and music and haven’t had the chance but I am hoping I will soon!

Wowzzzzzzzers!

2011-08-15T16:09:00.008-04:00

If you would have told me that by the end of summer I would have an incredible position as The Creative Lead for Sheridan's Applied Research and Innovation I would never have believed you. I can not get over this incredible opportunity that has landed in my life and I feel so incredibly excited, amazed and completely blessed. Wow Wow Wow. God is Good! I have to take some time to say Thanks to everyone in my life who has encouraged and supported me through some tough and challenging months. I couldn't have made it through without your constant love and encouragement. I appreciate you all so much!

So this is the sweet life I have been dreaming of having for so long. I am feeling pretty incredible, I am seeing all of my hard work finally being rewarded. I can't wait for my first 'Creative Career in Advertising' Pay Check, if I didn't need it so much I would frame it! This is such an incredible milestone for me. I am just spending my days learning as much as I can for this position to make sure I am bringing current, relevant ideas and knowledge to the client and absorbing everything I can.

I am very excited for the fall as I am rolling into it in a career and even more excited that I will be able to make some indulgences in Christmas gifts and other fun things that I have had to admire through window shopping these past couple of months. I have been eyeing so many incredible finds at shops around Toronto...Everyone prepare yourself for some awesome Christmas Gifts...Heidi..watch out! You are number one on my list this year! Let me know what you have your eye on. There are just too many incredible shops downtown Toronto with way too many unique and fun gift ideas, I have been drooling for months at these awesome finds. I can't wait to go Nuts! (WELL Within Reason of course!)

I am so Happy...Ya there are issues / complications in my life..relationships are challenging and never perfect but I know deep in my heart that everything is going to be okay and I have complete and total confidence that the future is going to be brighter and full of more joy than both Kyle and I could ever imagine. I know that things happen and life is uncertain, my M.S could take over my life again in a moment's notice but I am going to live in the joy of today and all the blessings that God has provided and deal with the pain when and If it comes.
I am not waiting in fear, stress or dispare anymore, I will not indulge any of my time thinking negatively about things I can not change.

Okay so in reference to the pictures, Mom, Rochelle and I never laughed so hard reading these greeting cards. The humor was completely dry but oh my josh were they ever funny! We had the type of laugh that made our tummy's hurt! I wish I would have purchased a couple of them but now I know where they are..Oh they are at Wagmens in the States..well at least the one across the boarder in Niagara Falls NY. Oh and I have been 'California Dreaming' Lately. I would love to take a trip to see Hollywood. Let's face it..I love movies and I am a total Entertainment buff. I love it all so what better place to visit especially if Kyle won't indulge my fantasies of living there!

I am just Happy..I wish I could scream at the top of my lungs and dance through the streets in the pouring rain. I just want to be able to share my excitement and Joy with everyone.I don't think I can put into words how incredible I feel. To not have constant pain and to be living in downtown Toronto working in a career that is my passion and just to be sitting here at Chapters listening to Chantal Kreviatzuk...

Thinking back to when I first found her music. My friend Jessica had introduced me to her and I remember borrowing the album 'Colour Moving and Still'. The first time I listened to the album all the way through I was sitting on my bed in Lethbridge AB, wondering if I would ever meet the man of my dreams, if all of the dreams I had would ever become reality..If the first track 'Blue' would be the anthem to my life or if I would ever be able to sing loudly to the track ' Before You ' with gusto because I had found My Prince Charming. Wow...now listening to this album so many memories come to the surface of a lonely unsure girl who didn't know if she would ever kick the blues! I am so Happy to say that I did kick the blues and more then that..At the ripe age of 30 have seen many of my trials and long life goals and aspirations come to fruition. I know we never achieve it all but on a personal note, I have conquered those dreams I had lying on my bed in Lethbridge AB. It's Nuts..I also was dreaming of having my licence and I recently got that too. Wow.. is all I have to say. It's pretty tough to feel defeated about the little things in life when so many of the biggest things have fallen into place!

So.....Ya........That is a Smigit of My Excitement.

U2 Get On Your Moncton BOOTS

2011-08-03T14:48:00.003-04:00

Wow, what an amazing past week.

I am back home from Moncton NB and I thought about just taking a picture of my journal entree to explain everything that happened on my trip but as I wrote on the bus the almost 8 page journal entry I wrote is barely legible so I will have to provide the short story version of my U2 Moncton NB Adventure.

Where to begin, well for starters I am a changed woman. U2 and the friends/fans I made on this trip have impacted and changed my life in such a great way. The entire trip, maybe minus the bus ride( as there are crazies on every bus ) was incredible I have never felt more welcome, more inspired, more in awe, more excited and more grateful. From the moment I got off the bus, I had no idea how I was going to get to Magnetic Hill as I only had 20$ bucks left to my name and strangers were very kind at the bus stop and willing to drive me (they thought I was nuts to travel alone and were worried about me, but they as well as no one at home had anything to worry about!) In the end I bargained with a taxi driver and he took me right up to my camping spot and stopped the meter at $20 bucks.

As soon as I got the camp ground I knew I would be totally Ok and I was. I just so happened to walk over to some nice folks, Liz and her man Ray, they were so kind and before even pitching my tent up told me I had to go with them to see the guy who was giving the GA numbers. They already had their numbers and I was really stoked, I had met the right people because as they said, no one knew were this guy was camped out as he was a far walk away up in at the top of Magnetic Hill. Anyway, so we trekked up to where (Vince) was staying, he had a one man tent and was the only guy allowed up there by U2 Security. I got my number which is now sunburned in on my wrist still which was/is 64 and man was I excited, that is one great number for so late in the week! I was very thrilled about this. Anyway we headed back and Liz helped me set up my $30 tent which held up really well in the torrential down pour we experienced on Saturday.

Friday was a quiet day, I woke up later then everyone and so the camp ground was empty, a lot of folks went to see the tide come in at this one spot where apparently it is higher than anywhere else. So back at camp I realized I was just a couple tents away from Philly guy, Drew. I have some pics of Him and Amp (Turban guy) in my Toronto GA line up. Anyway, he was around on Fri and we hung out for the majority of the day, he taught me how to make food from a bag on a little stove that was held up by a couple of rocks. It was the best meal ever! He shared a lot about being in the wilderness without food for weeks on end and how he could survive with just a few key things. I learned so much from him and gained a whole new appreciate for living out in the wilderness and am now actually really wanting to go camping again, I had the best time. Granted the outside toilets were terrible but other than that it was really amazing.

In the afternoon drew and I joined some other folks that were around on the camp ground, they were a lot older than us but had the most decked out little camp community and were so sweet and welcoming, I had the most delicious muscles that I learned to dip in garlic for the first time and wow, they are some very cool older folks still living it up and having a fun time, I want to be like that when I get older. I was really impressed, and so happy that they included us in their family fun.

I had kind of a rough sleep on Thursday night as I only had the comfort of my yoga matt, so Friday night Liz and I went to Wal-Mart, got our rain boots as we heard it was supposed to rain, I got some markers and bought a cheap shirt and we decorated our boots and my tee and called it a night.

We had an early night as we were waking up for 7am to join the Line-up. The rain was terrible and it did not let up from the moment we got in line until the moment the first opening act started. This was the toughest GA line that most have experienced and I by the time the concert started I was soaked from head to toe and even after it ended was still completely drenched. The concert was incredible and I will talk to anyone about it in person but I just can’t describe it on paper, I was front rail off to Adam’s side and had the most incredible time. It was everything I had hoped and more, words just can’t express.

The walk back to the camp ground was the craziest, terrible, didn’t know if I would make it …..Kind of walk. The rain all day had turned Magnetic Hill into a mud bath. My poor sketchers which I had changed into earlier because my boots were incredibly uncomfortable were mutilated by the end. What was incredibly cool was Drew’s friends a lady my age or a little older and her mom who was probably 65. She and her daughter had been to a lot of shows together and the older lady was incredibly tough, after standing and enduring such harsh elements and then after standing for hours at the concert I was in complete awe as this lady trekked her way through the uphill muddy climb. At certain points I wasn’t sure we would make it, it was absolutely the toughest climb to get out I have ever experienced. I just kept looking out for Drew’s red Philly Jersey and eventually we made it to the top of the hill. This older lady(can’t remember her name) got a ride from AMP who had a car and we continued to walk.

It wouldn’t be an event unless I caused a little drama. After we got through the crowds and were alone on the road walking back to the camp grounds my leg all of the sudden started feeling intense pain and I just fell down to the ground screaming in total agony! I can’t remember the term for when your leg goes crazy like that and causes intense pain but I couldn’t stop wincing and yelling in pain..in 2 seconds flat my U2 friends were there..I heard someone calling out to Drew who was walking ahead and he and everyone came running back and I had the support of everyone, giving me water…massaging my leg and this lasted for a good 15 minutes, the pain was excruciating. I have had this happen to me once when I was sleeping and woke up in pain but it had gone away soon and this just seemed to last forever!

Anyway, I limped with help back to the grounds and what happened between 1 and 4 am was the best part of my trip. I wish I could have taken pictures but my camera was destroyed after the water all day so all I have are the memories but all of, well about 15 of us were sitting wherever we could find a place and Colleen, I believe this is her name, had a bottle of wine or something like it called “360” which just happens to be the U2 Tour name. So anyway we thought no better way than to the pass the bottle around and when you got it share one of the moments on the tour or of U2 In general that stood out or impacted your life. Well this started with a small group and ended with a large one. It was the best way to end our time together and the tears from everyone rolled as we shared. I cried as I talked about how the song “Walk On” has mirrored my life in so many ways over the years and just how challenging it has been to keep going at times and others talked about there experiences and it was just a beautiful thing. I will never forget those last couple of hours of my time there on the Moncton Hill camp grounds. I made life time friends and one of the last toasts that was made was that we won’t wait until the next tour to get together and also that U2 has yet again inspired us to change the world and we want to get together and do something to help others the next time we meet.

There is so much more I could talk about, I had the most incredible time and on the bus ride back found myself telling this guy about Jesus, he had committed some terrible crimes and told me he knew he was going to Hell, I hope what I told him about Jesus’s forgiveness will resonate in his mind but I honestly don’t know what if anything he will remember from our hours of conversation on the bus. I know that I gave him the truth and that’s all I could offer.

So here I am, back at Chapters and I need to get some work done now as I have spent hours uploading pics to Facebook and blogging here, I don’t have time to add all the pics on my blog but check them out on facebook and yeah..thanks everyone for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers during this trip, I really appreciate it and I hope that next time I will be able to convince some of you to join me on my next U2 Adventure. Until then….

Another Week.

2011-07-20T15:21:00.002-04:00

Well I have had a terrible week so far, basically work stuff has been getting to me but I don’t want to talk about that. I wish I could say life is great but until I have a career that pays I really can’t say that with confidence. There is just so much that I wish Kyle and I could afford to do and haven’t been able to since I have not been bringing in any money.

I want to have a career so badly; to have an extra income would be amazing. The list of things to do once we have duel incomes is long but totally manageable. We want to pay off all of our credit card debts which would take quite a few months, we also want to save for a vacation next summer and hopefully something before that and other then these things there are big dreams such as moving into a house and starting a family, these things require a ton of savings!

So I know we have a lot to strive for and most of these things are in my control as once I start working at the same level Kyle is we will be able to afford all of our biggest dreams. I am trying not to beat myself up about it but I really do want so much to find a satisfying career that I can dive into and love.

Well that is the update for now, There is plenty more happening but that’s all I am up to talking too now.

Oh and here is the latest on U2 Moncton. NB. From U2 Brother.

I am convinced that we will be going.

I try not to make promises I can't keep.

I'm headed to Pittsburgh to see the show next and then will drive back to Toronto.

I'd be back by Wed next week.

Here are the leads I'm following.

1. We drive with my friend Dave. There would be 3-4 of us in total. Splitting gas would be ideal and cheaper for all of us. Dave and I can split the gas.

2. There is a crew who is talking of hiring a charter flight. It would take 10 of us at a cost of $180 max there and back from Moncton.

3. I bite the bullet, and both you and I drive in my car. I'd do the driving, my car is stick. I'd leave as early as Thursday and take my time driving over there 4 hours at a time taking naps in parking lots at a time. This is more expensive as gas is only split two ways.

My plan is for us to sleep at a friends place. I don't really wanna camp and I don't want to pay $50/each for us to set up a tent.

Realize, I DON'T have a ticket to this show. I actually know someone who works for U2 who is willing to get me comp tickets as well as wristbands to get into the pit. I would pick up my ticket at Will Call when I get to the event.

So here is what I would suggest to you. Sell your ticket. Get the money. Prior to going, I can ask my U2 working to get me 2 comp tickets and 2 wristbands