Wyld Creativity: Throw me a Line..

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Throw me a Line..

From hope, excitement and possibility back to confusion, stress and dead ends. This seems to be the pattern in my life and no matter how hard I try to think my way out of it the cycle continues on!

Its so hard, I feel like if I could just get back in sync with the Lord and find that passion that I once had through Him, everything right now would drastically change for the better and my world would come together. For whatever reason..and believe me I have thought about all the different reasons it could be time and time again...I can't get myself there. In 2011/Early 2012 I read through the entire bible and devoted time every single day to seek out the Lord..I spent time in relationship counselling and worked hard to communicate and uncover areas in my life that need improvement. It's really disheartening to think that doing those things did nothing to help improve my life or relationships.

This leads me to wonder what I am doing wrong. Throughout the years I have been hopeful, full of passion, creative and joyful when the Holy Spirit was directing and in control of my life. This I know for sure. What I also know, and may not be true for everyone but at least for me is that planning and spending time with God without recent healing, or prayer from someone.. and just everyday on my own has not produced any fruit and it has become increasing difficult to hear God's voice and have any sense of direction.

I know that I am saved, I know that God has never left me and the Holy Spirit is still inside me. The fire that once burned super bright, just like a relationship with a significant other eventually grows predictable and is less shiny but I feel like I can't keep doing the same old things and hope it gets better.. I need a Devine intervention to somehow bring the spark back.

Just like in my own marriage, I know it's going to take so much more than anything I can piece together through habits and routine..Like my relationship with the Lord..Somethings got to happen to spark the flame again. I can only derive passion and hope from my relationship with God but if I can't get that from my current relationship with the Lord which is the situation I am in then I need something radical to happen to bring freedom and change that will fill me up again with Passion and Hope.

This may not be the right way to approach living. Truth is, I have never been able to have inspiration and vision without a deep rooted relationship with the Holy Spirit. When everything in your life is stagnant ...what do you do? If you need motivation and passion to drive you forward...How do you get it from nothing..Where is the source??? It has to be God..But what if you aren't getting anything from God either? What then?? You need to try harder..press in deeper..But if your totally exhausted..How??

Ask God for help..That's what I continue to do..and will continue to do..
I pray that he hears me and is planning the most awesome life changing ..miracle situation for me..
I really need one of those to happen.

5 comments:

Heidi said...: Aw Heather. I love and am praying for you. Sometimes miracles happen slowly and with each painstaking decision made or corner turned. You won't even see the miracle until you look back and think wow - I was there and now I'm here. How did that happen?

Keep on seeking after God. He loves you more then you could imagine. And so do I :); January 12, 2013 at 9:45 PM
Heather-31 said...: Thanks Heid : ); January 13, 2013 at 8:33 AM
Cheryl Plett said...: Heather my love, I hear your heart. I will save my thoughts for when we get together on Friday at your place. Just know that I love you and am praying for you everyday.; January 15, 2013 at 3:21 PM
dad said...: oh my Heather my heart aches for you and wish i could make it all better. all i can say is l love you and God will speak again and bring back your passion.Believe it or not i have been there many times and all i could do is believe that God would never leave me nor forsake me.
There is a new church called Elevation in T.O. with one of my favourite Steve Furdick .; January 17, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; February 6, 2013 at 12:48 AM

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The Story of a Prince and a Girl who Dreamed of finding Her Prince.

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Ruby; she lived in a far way kingdom where only the stars in the sky could light the way. The kingdom was tall and made of stone. Inside, it had all of the finest linens and tapestries with winding stair cases, golden mirrors and exotic flowers that stretched the kingdom’s stone walls. The kingdom was surrounded by a large creek bed and had a large wooden draw bridge outside the tall black iron front gates. Beyond the kingdom were many forests, pastures, rivers and hills.

The young woman lived in the kingdom with only her two servants Nigel and Jasmine. They had been with Ruby ever since her mother gave birth to her and have cared for her and loved her since the great royal war that took her family tragically away from her. Years had past since then and Ruby was a young woman now. Since the great royal war she had not seen another person beside her servants. The lands had been deserted as other kingdoms were destroyed and abandoned. No one knew this kingdom existed. It stood in a far off place that only one deserted over grown pathway in the forest would lead to.

Ruby spent her childhood growing up playing with all the animals in the forest, she had names for all of them and would spend her days dancing in the pastures and walking along the creek bed throwing stones into the water. She was content those days as she lived free and enjoyed every tree, every stone, and every pathway near the kingdom. She loved her home but she missed her family and many times she felt alone.

As Ruby grew older she began to stop playing in the pastures and instead she spent her days walking along the creek bed dreaming of finding love and not being alone anymore. Every night outside her balcony she would spend time looking out into the stars and making wishes that one day soon a wonderful man would find the unmarked path in the forest that would lead him to her kingdom.

Nigel and Jasmine were very old now; Ruby took time to care for them and tended to their needs. She would gather food from the garden and make them food to eat and get them blankets to make sure they were comfortable when it was cold. She was not sure how much longer they would live but one thing she knew was how much she admired they’re love for one another and she hold that in her heart for as long as she lived.

It was a warm fall evening; the leaves from the trees were lightly falling as the sun began to set. Ruby was standing on her balcony in her long white silk night gown. As the dark sky began to shine, a light breeze bustled against her gown and her long brown hair blew lightly in the wind. She stood with her hands on the balcony ledge and wished to the stars like she had so many nights before singing” Star light Star bright bring my prince home to me tonight” She stared up into the dark blue sky and began to talk more to the shinning stars.

Just as she was looking up into the sky, talking to the stars a man was following the pathway from the forest that leads to Ruby’s kingdom. He was beginning to approach the edge of the pathway he had began journeying on earlier that day and was about to step on to a beautiful white shiny stoned pebble walk way that would lead up to a draw bridge and to Ruby’s kingdom.

The young man had been travelling for months only eating what he could find along the pathway. Henry was a prince from the golden city of Persia. He was on an expedition when he was captured by rivals and taken to a far away land where he was imprisoned in a place he did not know. Months ago after many nights planning Henry escaped while the guards were sleeping. He thought he would be able to journey home by recognizing land marks but once he had fled the guards he realized that he was further from home then he ever imagined and much to his dismay he did not recognize any of his surroundings. He had been following the sun in hopes of finding his way home. Each day he walked further hoping that one day the pathway would lead him to his family.

Earlier that day Henry had been walking though the forest with large green bushes and fruitful trees around him when he saw a small unmarked pathway that was ragged and old. There were no fruit trees, only old tall trees and an old pebble pathway that seemed run down and abandoned.

He was going to continue to walk on the pathway he had been but something caught his eye as he walked past this abandoned trail. Henry saw a small red ruby attached to a ring lying in between some wet leaves. The sun was shining on it and it glistened and shinned at him. He bent down and lifted the leaves around it away and dusted the ring off and looked at. The ring was prestigious and fit for a princess. He thought about continuing on the main pathway road through the forest but he was drawn down this unmarked pathway. He wondered if this ruby red ring belonged to someone. He put the ring in his pocket and began to walk along the jagged unmarked pathway. He noticed that there were no markings along this pathway so it appeared that no one had walked this pathway for many years.

To Be Continued…

Wyld Creativity

Overcome.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Throw me a Line..

5 comments:

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