Valentines Cont.

So this was the delightful inside of the black Forrest cake I baked for Valentines Day. It's now Friday and we still have almost half of this amazing cake left. We have had it for dessert all night this week!

Our Valentines was nice, Kyle brought home some beautiful flowers that are filling our home with sweet scents. We made our fav spinach ravioli for dinner on Tuesday. It was the most incredible thing, on our grocery visit to Costco last Sunday we saw someone leaving the store with a green package of the spinach ravioli Kyle and I fell in love with back when we were living in Surrey. Costco had stopped carrying it for years and when we saw this man leaving with it..I freaked out in total excitement! I swear sometimes it's the littlest things that really can make your day and for us we were able to relive some of those 1st year married Surrey Days with this incredible ravioli. You need to try it! It's incredibly tasty..you just add olive oil and sprinkle on this seasoning that comes in the pack. Anyway we ended up watching that movie "A Guy Thing' that I mentioned in my earlier post which we watched on our first Valentines together. It was a fun night and this week has been equally good.

I have spent tedious hours looking for work online, filling out applications and sending them into the Internet abyss. I know I need to continue to stay hopeful but its so tough. Well I hope everyone had a fantastic week. Go see SAFE HOUSE! We saw that last weekend and it was a great movie!

Happy Valentines Day

I love Valentines day! I know it is just another day but for me it was this day over 9 years ago that I had my first date with Kyle. I will never forget that special valentines day. I had no idea how special that night would be and how much I would fall for Kyle. I remember every detail like it was yesterday. My red long flowing dress and the black perfect wool sweater cardigan I borrowed from Crystal down the hall in dorms to wear over top. Everything came together so perfectly. Kyle surprised me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers which we still laugh about as the Flower's Kyle brought me that day lasted longer than anyone else's on dorms. We had the best pasta dinner of my whole life. I still believe that, I have not yet had better pasta anywhere than what we had that night at the Big Ridge. ( I think that's what it's called!) We borrowed my roommate Liz's car for the night which was huge for us, we were given the opportunity to go out and really get to know each other. We had our awkward first date moment at the restaurant when one of the deans of the bible college was having dinner with his wife at the same restaurant and we ran into each other. I remember feeling so nervous..Kyle could always set me into flutter with one glance. We drove to White Rock after dinner and walked along the pier..I remember being chilly and Kyle holding me. It was a special night. We saw a movie was playing on the way home and decided to see it. I honestly have no idea what it was about because all I could think about was this incredible guy sitting next to me. The movie was called "A Guy Thing" and I'm thinking we need to watch it again sometime..maybe tonight.
I can't tell you how incredibly special I felt on that night. when we got back to dorms I talked to a few friends on how our night went, got changed and Kyle and I went out for a long walk before curfew. It was the perfect ending to a perfect night that I will never forget.

Tonight we are staying in, maybe we will watch that movie from our first Valentines Day. I really don't care what we do..just as long as I am with Kyle.
I was inspired by my moms Black Forrest Cake recipe that she made for my dad's birthday not too long ago and decided to give it a try. You can see some of the pictures bellow. It's all ready for dessert tonight, I just have to add some chocolate shavings on top!

Raptors Fun

So Last night Kyle texted me an hour before tip off and let me know we were going to our first NBA game. A co-worker had tickets they couldn't use and so we got to go out and have some fun watching our first basketball game. It was a lot funner than I thought it would be! It's really interesting to watch and there's a lot I didn't know about basketball. It was a fun surprise and I hope we get to do it again. The Cheerleaders were incredible! The players were pretty impressive too!

Kyles 29th

We had a quiet birthday for Kyle this year. I wanted to put an image up of the meal I made for Kyle but it ended up looking less than desirable once plated. It was a Rachel Ray recipe for Meatloaf and although it tasted really good the colours between the side dish of squash and the gravy for the meatloaf ended up blending together into one unattractive presentation! I will want to make it again but next time add some different colours into the mix!

We had a quiet night in and went out the following night to watch some stand up comedy at Yuk Yuks. This was a lot of fun! I have to say, stand up comedy is one of the funnest ways to spend a night out. I highly recommend it to all!

Wondering..

I realize that I have less and less to talk about..this is concerning! I don't know when I ran out of things to talk about but when I sit down on nights like tonight my mind feels absent.

I'm sitting in my office, listening to my music ( The O.C soundtrack. specifically about 6 tracks that I always go to) and I can't help but stare at the wedding picture on my desk of Kyle and I. I remember that day well, our adventure was just beginning and I will never forget how special I felt afterwards walking into the Embassy hotel overlooking the Falls in my wedding dress, I felt like the most special girl in the world.

Life has me really confused. I wonder if its okay to not know where I am going ..I feel like this is the reason I am finding it so difficult to make anything in my life happen right now. When you get in the car you are headed in a particular direction, you don't just get in and drive in circles because your supposed to drive. I'm in the car and I am driving in circles because I am supposed to be moving. The problem is I have no direction and I am going nowhere.

I wonder if I can just make up a destination in my mind and that be enough to get me going..I feel like this is the same as planning a road trip that is make believe. You can't actually go somewhere if your not really going there, your brain can't be tricked. This is the problem I have right now. I am trying to get my brain to imagine a destination that I honestly can't believe in or hope for because it feels as unlikely as winning the lottery.

I am seriously wondering about my lack of motivation these days..I can honestly say this is the first time in my life that I have been highly unmotivated without goals or future aspirations. I am heading nowhere fast. That's not me being dramatic..just honest and it feels good to be real.

Dreaming of the Day..

I realize that I am writing less and less lately and when I look in my edit folder I have some unwritten posts that I have not shared. There is a fine line between sharing thoughts and being all to real and saying too much. I love to write and in the past have been inspired to write about crazy quirky things that are on my mind. It was easy...The truth is things have changed in the past year and now I find it painfully hard to write because life for me these days is less than pretty.

I try to change my outlook on life and the future by looking at pictures like this one. I know that God is bigger than every single problem I am facing and he is here to help me through every single painful thing that I am going through. I know that he knows my heart. It is still so hard
to picture a place as beautiful and free..a place so full of joy and life as this picture portrays.

I want to wake up in a place just like this..Its a world that is full of hope, joy, peace and love. It is bright and beautiful and feels like a gazillion miles away from my existence. Sometimes I wonder how things could get so bleak..how and what did I do to end up feeling this way?
I have always been able to think my way through what steps to take next...a way to make things better..a way out. For the first time in my life I have no idea what to do to get through this. I have to say that I am so blessed to have incredible family in my life and a God who loves me no matter how confused and messed up I am! That thought alone helps take me away to a place like this picture.

Baby It Aint Over Till It's Over!

Today has been great. I spent some time watching 'Full House' an oldy but goody show. I decided to watch it after reading part way through Candace Cameron Bure's new book 'Reshaping it All' I was really impressed by her book and found it to have a lot of helpful insight. I really admire the way she has approached life and faced a lot of challenges head on. I am already on season 6 and things are heating up! I am always loving the teenage dating love stories and finally she is 16 and old enough to have a serious boyfriend! ( I know I am so easily amused!)



So I watched some Full House and had my left over spaghetti lunch then jacked up my music super loud and put on Lenny Kravitz's greatest hits album and I have to say he is incredible. I danced around my room listening to the first few tracks including the one shown above using my little red flashlight as my microphone and continued the fun during and after my shower..I have moved on to listening to Rihanna's new album...loving the song 'We found love'.

The snow was falling earlier and its a winter wonderland outside, finally...I think this means winter is finally here! It's about time. I am glad and I hope it stays long enough for my little niece and nephew to enjoy as they are flying in from B.C today and I am sure would love to play outside in the snow. Perfect timing! While my sister and her kids are visiting we are going to have a blast. The Girls are going to meet me early Monday Morning in Toronto to see a live taping of the Marliyn Denis show. I am not sure if they tape the show in advance but according to the website Monday's show should include the following:

Monday, Jan.16

Canada’s Queen of Fashion, Jeanne Beker, teams up with Canada’s Queen of Gossip and ETALK reporter, Lainey, to deliver a full head-to-toe style report on The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. Marilyn’s resident chef Christine Cushing, cooks up a traditional pasta recipe as part of the show’s “Family Dinner Month” series, featuring meal ideas for $15 or less.

Tips and tricks on saving on all kinds of insurance.

I will let you know how my very first Television appearance goes! As for today..it is just beginning! and I love how this winter wonderland day is kicking off!

A New Year 2012

I have started this year off right. I managed to get to the gym 3 times this week which is a great start to the year. I am sad to see Christmas end but its good to get started in on a new year.

I really want to live each day this year to the fullest.
Normally I take pictures of the gifts I got so I have a recap to look back on but I don't know that I did that this year. (I will take one later and add it)This picture to the left was taken Christmas Eve morning at mom and dads...as you can see it was no a typical snowy Christmas, it was bright sunny and beautiful!
I can say that I got way too much for Christmas, here is a list of some of the amazing gifts I was fortunate enough to receive!

Some of the highlights:
A magazine subscription to Entertainment Weekly
Complete T.V Series box sets of The O.c, 24 and Sex and the City
Harry Potter Set with all the movies
A U2 Record
Comfy sweats and sweatshirt
A Sweater
A diet and fitness journal

I had a great Christmas at my mom and dads and I wish it could last forever, it was so nice to relax and just take things easy. This is the end of our break and I need to start looking for a new career opportunity. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish this year and a lot of dreams and goals for 2012. I am going to take things one day at a time and focus in on each goal one at a time. It sometimes feels like a juggling act trying to balance all of the things in life that I am trying to get to but I know that my strength comes from God and that is enough to see me through.

Its Fri Dec 16

Its Friday. Christmas is almost here. I am finished my contract at Sheridan. The future ahead looks bright to me..I am full of anticipation and joy again for what is to come next.

What would your Billboard look like?

I am looking at an empty wall Muriel space outside my window at Starbucks. I am wondering what I would put inside it if I could create a poster with a message I would want the world to see (or just those who walk past the Starbucks on front street) It is actually crazy to see space not being used, this is not normal.

I know that the message I would want to share is one about Freedom. That is what was given to me in the summer of 1999 when God set me free from so much destructiveness that weighed heavily on me.

I know that God Is real because he changed my life. This is the truth and I know without a doubt that God can restore and change lives because he did with me. I remember that time in my life so vividly, I felt like a new person and after that late night prayer session, even though that was over 10 years ago I know that God has never left me and that I am still hidden under the shadow of his wings.

It’s easy to think that I am alone as this year has been filled with much pain and sadness. It is incredible though, because more than ever I understand that there is one unfailing love that never loses hope in me, never keeps score and knows exactly who I am and that is the Lord. I honestly know I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for Him.

I feel like there is so much I don’t do in my relationship with the Lord. I don’t pray nearly enough and I wish I was more in tune with the Holy Spirit but I am wanting to make our relationship better and trying to make efforts to see that happen and I believe that means something. I am almost finished reading the bible for the first time in my life. I actually followed the yearly plan my dad showed me in the back of the bible he gave me. I can’t remember everything I read but I am surprised at home much the pages come to life and relate to my life.

Right now in my life there are a lot of uncertainties, I am spending way too much time and effort trying to fix things that are out of my power. I am so tired of trying and I think I am finally ready to let go and stop trying to fix everything. I am confident in who I am, I know that I am a passionate, caring, driven person who can succeed and triumph.

Back to the message-Freedom. I am reminded of an ad campaign I did for Nike for a pair of their shoes, In a double page ad I show rusty old shackles to the left and on the right page a man jumping high over water , this was to illustrate the new ‘Free’ Shoe that Nike produced. I would like to create something similar to this ..Someone hunched over with their feet in the start blocks of a race at the dusk of dawn, jumping up and breaking free. A headline ‘ BE FREE’ could be used and some type of call to action whether that be to a website or follow up statement. It could all be leading up to a big event in the park where people can come to hear live music, share in activities with kids and reach out to those with less.

I don’t know but when I see an empty billboard I see potential to share something. The freedom that Christ brings needs to be shared and it is literally all I can think about these days. He has done so much for me I want others to experience and know what it’s like to be set free.