Wyld Creativity: Looking for a Breakthrough

Friday, March 13, 2009

Looking for a Breakthrough

I am sitting here at school…listening to Cold Play..I love some of the tracks later on in the album. Track 13 “Glass of Water” and on… It’s awesome!
-Just had to say that...moving on..

So I have been struggling big time…. I can’t really pretend that everything is roses when life right now for me on the inside is crumbling. I have goals, I don’t think they’re unreasonable either.. They are attainable goals but here is my problem. If I do everything right to make these goals humanly possible and they don’t happen what am I left with? What do I do?

Do I keep on trying to achieve them, do everything that is possible that mathematically should work out in achieving my goals? I can keep on doing this day in and day out but I think every person need’s to see some success to continue on.

I just don’t know how much longer I can go without seeing success. I guess that’s the struggle. I hate doing things out of habit without heart. It just becomes nothingness. That’s how I am feeling right now. I am just doing what I have to but I am not seeing my goals being accomplished and so I am becoming upset inside and let down and not motivated to continue on but still pressing forward with the faintest hope things will turn around.

I don’t know what it is, hearing God’s voice feels like ancient history; at least it’s so foreign I can’t recognize what’s what. I feel like I don’t even know what everything is for on days like today. The thing is that I can’t let go of this glimmer of hope that tells me there is something more and something greater than I can understand. This is what continues to drag me out of bed at 5 am. I am just afraid this tiny glimmer will grow even dimmer and I will give up. The problem with giving up is that it’s not even an option…Giving up means saying goodbye to everything I desire and long for..It’s saying those things are impossible to achieve and if that’s the case there is no point in living. Then life has no meaning.

SO I’m left with this having to work out…because it not working out …is no option. So I have to put all my trust in God for his help… I really can’t take anymore of my own brain power on this; I am just going to explode with stress.
I don’t know how to trust God though…I don’t even know what he wants for me or from me or what I can do right. It’s so hard to just do things you think are right and not really know if it’s what God wants. I just want to know that everything I am striving for are what God wants for me too.
This is what it is, I just have to keep on going and hope for a breakthrough. SO that’s what I am hoping will happen!

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The Story of a Prince and a Girl who Dreamed of finding Her Prince.

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Ruby; she lived in a far way kingdom where only the stars in the sky could light the way. The kingdom was tall and made of stone. Inside, it had all of the finest linens and tapestries with winding stair cases, golden mirrors and exotic flowers that stretched the kingdom’s stone walls. The kingdom was surrounded by a large creek bed and had a large wooden draw bridge outside the tall black iron front gates. Beyond the kingdom were many forests, pastures, rivers and hills.

The young woman lived in the kingdom with only her two servants Nigel and Jasmine. They had been with Ruby ever since her mother gave birth to her and have cared for her and loved her since the great royal war that took her family tragically away from her. Years had past since then and Ruby was a young woman now. Since the great royal war she had not seen another person beside her servants. The lands had been deserted as other kingdoms were destroyed and abandoned. No one knew this kingdom existed. It stood in a far off place that only one deserted over grown pathway in the forest would lead to.

Ruby spent her childhood growing up playing with all the animals in the forest, she had names for all of them and would spend her days dancing in the pastures and walking along the creek bed throwing stones into the water. She was content those days as she lived free and enjoyed every tree, every stone, and every pathway near the kingdom. She loved her home but she missed her family and many times she felt alone.

As Ruby grew older she began to stop playing in the pastures and instead she spent her days walking along the creek bed dreaming of finding love and not being alone anymore. Every night outside her balcony she would spend time looking out into the stars and making wishes that one day soon a wonderful man would find the unmarked path in the forest that would lead him to her kingdom.

Nigel and Jasmine were very old now; Ruby took time to care for them and tended to their needs. She would gather food from the garden and make them food to eat and get them blankets to make sure they were comfortable when it was cold. She was not sure how much longer they would live but one thing she knew was how much she admired they’re love for one another and she hold that in her heart for as long as she lived.

It was a warm fall evening; the leaves from the trees were lightly falling as the sun began to set. Ruby was standing on her balcony in her long white silk night gown. As the dark sky began to shine, a light breeze bustled against her gown and her long brown hair blew lightly in the wind. She stood with her hands on the balcony ledge and wished to the stars like she had so many nights before singing” Star light Star bright bring my prince home to me tonight” She stared up into the dark blue sky and began to talk more to the shinning stars.

Just as she was looking up into the sky, talking to the stars a man was following the pathway from the forest that leads to Ruby’s kingdom. He was beginning to approach the edge of the pathway he had began journeying on earlier that day and was about to step on to a beautiful white shiny stoned pebble walk way that would lead up to a draw bridge and to Ruby’s kingdom.

The young man had been travelling for months only eating what he could find along the pathway. Henry was a prince from the golden city of Persia. He was on an expedition when he was captured by rivals and taken to a far away land where he was imprisoned in a place he did not know. Months ago after many nights planning Henry escaped while the guards were sleeping. He thought he would be able to journey home by recognizing land marks but once he had fled the guards he realized that he was further from home then he ever imagined and much to his dismay he did not recognize any of his surroundings. He had been following the sun in hopes of finding his way home. Each day he walked further hoping that one day the pathway would lead him to his family.

Earlier that day Henry had been walking though the forest with large green bushes and fruitful trees around him when he saw a small unmarked pathway that was ragged and old. There were no fruit trees, only old tall trees and an old pebble pathway that seemed run down and abandoned.

He was going to continue to walk on the pathway he had been but something caught his eye as he walked past this abandoned trail. Henry saw a small red ruby attached to a ring lying in between some wet leaves. The sun was shining on it and it glistened and shinned at him. He bent down and lifted the leaves around it away and dusted the ring off and looked at. The ring was prestigious and fit for a princess. He thought about continuing on the main pathway road through the forest but he was drawn down this unmarked pathway. He wondered if this ruby red ring belonged to someone. He put the ring in his pocket and began to walk along the jagged unmarked pathway. He noticed that there were no markings along this pathway so it appeared that no one had walked this pathway for many years.

To Be Continued…

Wyld Creativity

Overcome.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Looking for a Breakthrough

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