Wyld Creativity: You've Got This!

Saturday, February 21, 2015

You've Got This!

Its Saturday night, my day off, Raptors are playing against Houston..Im listening to the fifty shades of grey sound track, reading through some older posts.. reminiscing.

I really love reading some of my older posts, I have a strong poetic outlook on life that is pretty priceless. It's hard to see how different my life has become since Kyle I split. I was so unaware back then, I was a hopeless dreamer who believed in the impossible. I haven't totally changed but my optimism and hopeful thinking has a lot of protective elements surrounding it now.

I am not sure how I am going to be able to trust someone with my heart again. Its going to take a lot but letting my guard down and allowing someone to comfort me is going to be so tough. I look at love and relationships so differently now. I always thought I could just be me..

I thought marriage was something special with one person...you were able to cry, share highs and lows..be weak and be yourself, the good ..the bad..and the ugly! ..In my situation I felt like everything was later used against me.. I have a terrible fear now of letting go and trusting someone with my heart. Im afraid they're going to turn around one day out of the blue and say it all wasn't okay and leave.

I am fighting for my optimistic outlook on life again. I am doing all the right things to achieve it.. I have been doing 5 days a week at the Gym since January 1. Also, reading through the bible and spending more time in prayer and focusing my life and priorities.
It's so challenging though, my heart can't catch up with the rest of my mind and body. It still hurts so much. I feel so betrayed and forgotten. Its painful.

I am going to try to take this year to transform, so far everyday has been a fight.. I am pushing through my sadness believing in a bright future where I can love whole heartedly.
One day at a time..This is my Mantra. The discipline to work out and physically transform Im seeing is the easy part, Spiritually..spending time with God is also my natural reaction but healing my heart is proving to be the hardest thing Ive ever had to do.

Looking back .. I like the Innocent and dreamy outlook I used to have but I LOVE the powerful confident assurance that I possess today a lot more! I was pretty special back in the day..but now..I am tough as nails and having to fend for myself has created this driven independent woman who knows exactly what she wants and is not going to settle for anything less than 100%. I was way to accepting and understanding in my younger years. There are certain things that are just not acceptable to me anymore and I won't be putting up with any mistreatment anymore!

When I'm on the tread mill running, I am constantly thinking to myself..You have to fight for this ..You've got this!!! you have to physically workout your faith..This is your life..your becoming who you want to be.. Its like Im getting stronger emotionally with every workout..the physical output is healing my heart at the same time. Its encouraging to experience this. As hard as life gets and right now with the snow and winter, its been super hard! But Its taking little active steps that Im feeling are making a big difference.

I am happy about that.
The Raptors are having a really tough game, 98-76 ..But you know they are going to BRING IT ..next game..they always give it their all and Im going to keep giving life my all too!

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The Story of a Prince and a Girl who Dreamed of finding Her Prince.

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Ruby; she lived in a far way kingdom where only the stars in the sky could light the way. The kingdom was tall and made of stone. Inside, it had all of the finest linens and tapestries with winding stair cases, golden mirrors and exotic flowers that stretched the kingdom’s stone walls. The kingdom was surrounded by a large creek bed and had a large wooden draw bridge outside the tall black iron front gates. Beyond the kingdom were many forests, pastures, rivers and hills.

The young woman lived in the kingdom with only her two servants Nigel and Jasmine. They had been with Ruby ever since her mother gave birth to her and have cared for her and loved her since the great royal war that took her family tragically away from her. Years had past since then and Ruby was a young woman now. Since the great royal war she had not seen another person beside her servants. The lands had been deserted as other kingdoms were destroyed and abandoned. No one knew this kingdom existed. It stood in a far off place that only one deserted over grown pathway in the forest would lead to.

Ruby spent her childhood growing up playing with all the animals in the forest, she had names for all of them and would spend her days dancing in the pastures and walking along the creek bed throwing stones into the water. She was content those days as she lived free and enjoyed every tree, every stone, and every pathway near the kingdom. She loved her home but she missed her family and many times she felt alone.

As Ruby grew older she began to stop playing in the pastures and instead she spent her days walking along the creek bed dreaming of finding love and not being alone anymore. Every night outside her balcony she would spend time looking out into the stars and making wishes that one day soon a wonderful man would find the unmarked path in the forest that would lead him to her kingdom.

Nigel and Jasmine were very old now; Ruby took time to care for them and tended to their needs. She would gather food from the garden and make them food to eat and get them blankets to make sure they were comfortable when it was cold. She was not sure how much longer they would live but one thing she knew was how much she admired they’re love for one another and she hold that in her heart for as long as she lived.

It was a warm fall evening; the leaves from the trees were lightly falling as the sun began to set. Ruby was standing on her balcony in her long white silk night gown. As the dark sky began to shine, a light breeze bustled against her gown and her long brown hair blew lightly in the wind. She stood with her hands on the balcony ledge and wished to the stars like she had so many nights before singing” Star light Star bright bring my prince home to me tonight” She stared up into the dark blue sky and began to talk more to the shinning stars.

Just as she was looking up into the sky, talking to the stars a man was following the pathway from the forest that leads to Ruby’s kingdom. He was beginning to approach the edge of the pathway he had began journeying on earlier that day and was about to step on to a beautiful white shiny stoned pebble walk way that would lead up to a draw bridge and to Ruby’s kingdom.

The young man had been travelling for months only eating what he could find along the pathway. Henry was a prince from the golden city of Persia. He was on an expedition when he was captured by rivals and taken to a far away land where he was imprisoned in a place he did not know. Months ago after many nights planning Henry escaped while the guards were sleeping. He thought he would be able to journey home by recognizing land marks but once he had fled the guards he realized that he was further from home then he ever imagined and much to his dismay he did not recognize any of his surroundings. He had been following the sun in hopes of finding his way home. Each day he walked further hoping that one day the pathway would lead him to his family.

Earlier that day Henry had been walking though the forest with large green bushes and fruitful trees around him when he saw a small unmarked pathway that was ragged and old. There were no fruit trees, only old tall trees and an old pebble pathway that seemed run down and abandoned.

He was going to continue to walk on the pathway he had been but something caught his eye as he walked past this abandoned trail. Henry saw a small red ruby attached to a ring lying in between some wet leaves. The sun was shining on it and it glistened and shinned at him. He bent down and lifted the leaves around it away and dusted the ring off and looked at. The ring was prestigious and fit for a princess. He thought about continuing on the main pathway road through the forest but he was drawn down this unmarked pathway. He wondered if this ruby red ring belonged to someone. He put the ring in his pocket and began to walk along the jagged unmarked pathway. He noticed that there were no markings along this pathway so it appeared that no one had walked this pathway for many years.

To Be Continued…

Wyld Creativity

Overcome.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

You've Got This!

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